Top 5 rides from hell

Thanks to the fact that I can’t sleep in the public transport, I experienced a lot of weird things while on the road.

The bus driver stopping the bus to fist fight with the passenger, a girl that suddenly went blind, a lot of different animals riding the bus (from chickens to a goat) and my personal favorite: a man who was smiling while looking at his briefcase filled with knives of all sizes and a Bible on the top. None of these rides made my ultimate top 5 horror list.

5. Railcar trip to the reggae festival was 50km long with no planned stops and yet it took three hours. There were twice as many people that can actually fit inside the cart, standing basically on top of each other.

Coach was filled with the old people going back home after the market day, with their baskets and bags filled with food. A 70-yeard-old woman sitting next to me, kept poking me in the face with her basket filled with green onions.

The door of the coach couldn’t close and remained open during the whole trip. Fortunately, it was a good ventilation system on 30°C – the smell of dreadlocks and the all sorts of food was worse than you can imagine.

To top it all, railcar broke down in the middle of nowhere. People started joking: should we go outside and push it? while the conductor and driver laughed and opened up a bottle of beer each.

4. This ride took only an hour and a half, but the bus was in the worst condition imaginable. It didn’t help that I forgot my headphones and that I had to listen to the girl sitting next to me talking on the phone with her boyfriend and telling him she waves him sooo much every 10 seconds.

The woman in front of the bus was concerned for the puppy she put in the luggage area. She kept asking the bus driver every five minutes did we poke enough air holes on the box?

The worst was the condition of the bus. I had no place for legs. Mine left side was roasting on the unbelievably strong heating, while my right side was freezing from the door that didn’t quite shut. The snow kept falling inside.

The floor of the bus had holes in it. I was sure the driver will at some point ask us to push the bus with our legs like the Flintstones.

3. The horror started at 3AM at the train station when me and my friend were looking for a wait room. By mistake we entered the closed office full of homeless people and hammers. They started shouting at us and chasing us for waking them up, so we ran to the train platform in shock.

We found a cart with only two other people inside. One of them was a deaf-mute older man in pink shirt who was trying to explain to me to turn off the light and open the window.

Since I had no idea what he wanted me to do, he got really upset. I am pretty sure he showed me couple of not-so-nice words in sign language.

Across from us, was a twenty-something girl, sitting in a meditation pose. She stared at me and my friend the all four hours of our ride together.

To be honest, we might have looked like the passengers from hell to her. We were coming back from a rock/punk festival and we were covered in mud and dirt. I had a turban on my head and we wore all colours ever known to the human eye.

2. I try to fly with the low cost companies whenever I can and I always had good experiences.  Except this one. This night flight was bloody awful.

First, the plane was late. Then the passengers were pushing to get to the seats that were not booked. I ended up sitting in the far end of the plane. I could hear stewardesses gossiping about the cute guys in the front and they didn’t care about anything else.

At some point during the flight, the plane started dropping a little by little and then it stabilized. At first nobody cared.

When the lights went off and the plane started dropping again, I heard gasps all over the plane.

The girl sitting next to me started praying. I looked through the window waiting to see the moment of the crash.

The only thing I could think of was Madagascar 2. King Julian shouting when his plane was crashing: “It’s more fun if you put your arms up like this Maurice!

So, the plane did not crash. After those 20-30 seconds that seemed like a lifetime the plane stabilized again and the lights turned back on. We landed safely, but still shaking from the everything that happened.

At least the stewardesses had a new topic to gossip about.

1. The WORST experience ever was the train ride where we had to run with our suitcases to get to the our seats, so the other people wouldn’t take them.

By the time we reached the cart no.7 which was supposed to be ours, the conductor put his arm out of the window and taped it over with the number 15.

So we ran again. We found an open cart full of people, but we were happy that we have found a place to sit after all.

At one of the train stops, a homeless man with a giant bag full of garbage went in and sat on the passage way next to us. The smell was unbearable.

Other passengers tried to convince him to leave the cart, but he got offended and started yelling who do you think you are to tell me what to do?

Then they tried to give him money to go to the food cart and buy something nice to eat. He just kept on sitting on the floor, hugging his priceless bag and ignoring them.

After an hour, two girls jumped from their seats, started screaming and spraying three cans of deodorant on him. Everyone was in shock. The man didn’t even blink. Total zen. I kind of admired him at that point.

Now we were all chocking and coughing with the smell of deodorant. The men took off in a town where he originally planed to go.

And the joke was on us – we still had 6 more hours of Nivea chocking ahead of us.

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One thought on “Top 5 rides from hell

  1. I love bad travel stories, the worst one I ever had was when two hours into a twelve hour bus journey the man behind me vomited in my hair…there was no toilet on that bus!

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